When you feel like you are defeated, talk to God!

Written by Che Y. Formilleza

I trust in Your Word. (Psalm 119:42)

There were nights that I had inexplicable pains attacking my body. Honestly, I felt scared and a little anxious especially when heavy rains fall and that cold weather adds discomforts and pains piercing right through my bones. Even if I shout for help, my family could not probably hear me due to the noise of raindrops and winds.

To be alone in my nipa hut few steps from the house of my parents feels like I live in an isolated island, so near yet so far. I should be strong in mind, body and spirit. It’s not easy to always have the agony in my fortress of solitude.

Honestly, my body is now so skinny and looking at the mirror every time reveals how vulnerable and fragile I am. Through my eyes I see my soul that denies my weaknesses. I felt like I’m defeated. It’s not always about how strong I am and how deep my faith is. As a human, I’m still in the process of learning to know more about God. Reading Bible verses every morning I wake up and before I sleep is a must for my wellbeing.

Every time I am discomforted, I should pray and ask God’s help and protection. Yes, my body is numb yet I can feel the excruciating pain and I just ignore. I’m already immune to it. I should not let my pain and fears trouble my thoughts and weakens my faith. I always fight by my faith and keep thinking about God and His promises. Jesus is always on my side placing His hands over all parts of my body.

I am guilty when doubt and fears succumb me. I continually ask for God’s forgiveness every time fears and untrusting God dominates me. Though, the realities of overcoming and surviving my worst health situation in the past regenerates my courage to finally win this fight, realizing that the Lord did not fail me instead healed and protected me through His never-ending mercy and kindness.

I realized when you feel like you are defeated, talking to God reinforces your courage to fight.

God uses people in our lives surprisingly and in unexpected ways. At first, I thought I was losing friends because of my situation. Truly, you will know who your true friends and relatives are in times of great needs and I am thankful for having many of them.

I want also to recognize my Facebook friends having almost the same situation as mine. We only know each other online and we share our own dilemmas through chat. Their names are Ate Majo, also a single mother from Sorsogon, Bitoy from Naga City, Ate Milet and the youngest Gina both from Manila. I also have a friend from Odiongan but currently residing in Quezon City, her name is Joanne and is fighting for cancer. We always have conversations exchanging our thoughts about our own trials. Most of all for praying and sharing hopes of healing with each other.

Indeed, the people who will truly understand your torments in life are those who also have similar trials and sufferings. My beloved friends, as we always give comfort to each other, we realize that God is our healer and we should never give up. To other people who suffer the same, hold on my friends, let’s continue to pray and trust God’s words of healing and promises. In Jesus Holy Name! Amen.